How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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