would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
