Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
