Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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