so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
