he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
