I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
sex in a hospital.. check
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dick very happy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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