I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
