If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
