Cold hands, warm shart.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
