Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I didn't notice because vodka
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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