Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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