a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize