I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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