All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
and you fell through a lawn chair
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize