I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
