My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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