i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
