You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize