I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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