Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
