i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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