im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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