And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
