I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
