wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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