guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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