I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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