last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
