the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize