never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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