I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
