Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Did I show you my penis last night?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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