I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
