Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
