I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
