UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
