shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
