I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
