Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
