I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize