This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize