oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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