I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
