Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize