Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
pray to the hookup gods
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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