And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
