I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
