he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
