Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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