she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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