if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
