Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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