It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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