Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
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Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
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I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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