Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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