She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
