Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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