how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
