Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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