seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
