So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Two words: nipple clamps
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