the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
