Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
