Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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